doodles: June 2010

Ed.

Ed is a cat that enjoys meowing and eating I suppose. I suppose because even though this small fellow and myself hangout quite often I do not know him, and he does not know me. We talk sometimes he speaks not human I, well I speak human. Sometimes I hope that he understands me and is talking back in human but his vocal cords aren’t that great and its just meows. So I try my hardest to keep up rational conversations with him, its funny that I used rational there I'm not telling you that its funny I am simply stating that I think that me talking to my cat is very irrational and that trying to keep the conversations between us rational. Sometimes I think that he only likes me for my warmth he shows this by having way more interest in me when I am fresh out of a hot shower or coming in from the heat outside. He refuses to sit on my lap he prefers the table with the lamp shining on him, why does he like heat so much? I wonder also if he enjoys the food I feed him I try to give him milk even though I am told by many not to. He seems to like it so I say fuck em and give Eduardo carochio milk. We named him that and by we I mean my grandma, my dad, and myself, we named him that because my grandma wanted to name him edger Leon Bostick. I didn’t want other cats picking on him for his faggot ass name. While watching the Simpsons Elaine Benice I always thought she just wasn’t that hot but I guess she was nineties hot, well Elaine made up a boyfriend he was a bull fighter his name was Eduardo carochio. I like to think when and if Ed is met with the challenge of fighting a bull his name will help him immensely in the battle. Ed is pretty big not fat well, he might be a little fat but it is because he likes to eat and then sleep and then eat and then sleep. But who can blame him that’s just what those furry things do. I don’t know when big ass scary cats turned into small ass soft things but I'm glad they did. I like snoop but to compare the two would be like comparing apples and oranges, and that shit doesn’t fly so I will not, I don’t like Ed any more or any less I just like him different. Ed isn’t declawed and once in a while he likes to fight my hand, mostly my right hand I bet he knows I'm left handed and feels he is at the advantage when fighting the right of my two hands. He bites the skin in-between my thumb and index finger as if it was a throat I wonder if he knows what a throat is or if it’s just some instincts. I wonder if instincts to him are like hormones to adolescents a lot of weird chemical shit happening, not knowing what to do. I feel bad now because he doesn’t have show like degrassi and real sex to teach him how to use his instincts. He just goes with the flow and fights my right hand. I feel bad that we got him neutered I bet he'd like sex with girl cats I bet they’d like it to, Ed is the man. I’m glad that we got him neutered though I heard cats spray some weird semen and piss stuff called yucky that is smelly and yucky. I hope Ed never meets a car tire or some other means of premature death. I also hope he doesn’t run away but I don’t see why he would he seems to like it here and I like that he is here. Mostly because we have good conversations and he is soft.